When coloring in lighter rub-throughs, glue splotches or wood-putty patches, it’s usually best to paint in the grain first, then add the color to each side of the grain. If you go the other way, coloring in the entire area before painting in the grain, you’ll often get the grain too dark.
Trying, then, to lighten the grain by rubbing off some of the color with steel wool will lighten the entire repair, causing you to have to start over.